It's an Aardwold.

 I wasn't looking forward to this search as I assumed that all I would find would be a myriad of wildlife info sites.

Fortunately I was mistaken.

Firstly the dictionary definition for Aardwolf is:
'n. a striped, hyena-like African mammal, Proteles cristatus, which feeds on carrion and insects.'
Which basically taught me everything I needed to know. Regardless I duly typed Aardwold in to Google search and Google, being the know all that it is, ignored my request and displayed the results for Aardwolf instead. This confused me until I noticed that I had typed Aardwold in the search box. I was about to proceed with the Google results for Aardwolf when I realised. Aardwold comes first alphabetically! So I scorned Google for thinking it knew best and clicked the link to search for Aardwold instead.

Amazingly Google found 485 results for Aardwold which was more than I was expecting. The first couple seemed to be about some online game called Aardwolf, which I ignored as A) I don't like online games and B) I would probably find this game when I search for Aardwolf. The next four hits were all from fineartamerica.com and concerned the sale of Aardwold Posters, Photos, Prints and Greeting Cards. Now this was interesting. I immediately entered the site and found only two pictures for sale, both of which were of Aardwolfs! That is hardly fair, I raged, The owners of this website are deliberately misleading the public by making out like they have Aardwold pictures for sale when in fact they do not. However I was not too annoyed as I reasoned that the FBI would rumble them sooner or later and the crime of 'misleading the public on a global scale in an art site' is still covered by the death penalty in all of Usa. Smiling fondly as I picture the site leaders swinging from the gallows I moved on.

The next site actually caused me to emit a semi-violent noise of amusement. It was from wiki.answers.com and the question was:
What does an Aardwold eat?
Aha, I thought, now I would finally find out about the real Aardwold and not the stupid Proteles Cristatus!
Unfortunately there was no answer. However, in the interests of a more knowledgeable public I resolved to answer this question myself. So I Google searched 'Aardwold Food' and discovered that Canadian Health Inspectors was the correct answer, so I typed it in the box. It asked me to prove I was human by typing anistestu policy into another box and away the answer went.

Once again I smiled fondly, this was turning into a productive session.

Before I left the site I scrolled through the 'related questions' section and found, to my surprise a question of a deeply philosophical nature.
The question: 'What does eat eat eat mean?'
The answer: 'To eat a lot'
So now you know.

The next site also made me laugh. The link read:
'Aardwold Alpacas is the best Alpaca ranch in the South West...'
This was incredible, Aardwold had won at least one prestigious award and Google search dared to question its legitimacy!
I entered the site and found that Aardwold Alpacas is in Canon city Colorado and you can 'like' it if you have a Facebook account. I have high hopes that the many million readers of this blog will choose to do this. Unfortunately I am not on Facebook and I will only join if someone can find me a group entirely devoted to the small thrill that is felt when you find the place for a jigsaw puzzle piece. Enywhey I read the first recommendation for Aardwold Alpacas:


I love going up to Aardwolf Alpacas. They have many beautiful, high quality animals/alpacas to choose from. So if you are looking to grow your herd, start your herd or learn how to take care of your alpaca herd, Phyllis and Mike at Aardwolf Alpacas is THE place to do business... the alpaca business. They are the best.
The have the best alpacas for sale in Colorado and the South West!

Sounds good, but on closer inspection that it had been posted by Mels' Card shop. Sure card shop owners are entitled to their views on Alpaca breeders, but they really should not force them on the world at large. That and they DO NOT KNOW HOW APOSTROPHES WORK!!!!!! Which annoyed me somewhat. I am quite sure this card shop does not belong to all the Mels in the world.


The next comment was even worse. The first sentence sounds perfectly normal:
Getting to know Mike and Phyllis has been an experience in learning how passionate they are in the business of Alpacas.
But! If you remove the last five words...
Getting to know Mike and Phyllis has been an experience in learning how passionate they are.
AHA! Yet another thinly disguised dating agency!! I wondered how many of these I would spring during my dictionary based exploits.

So ends another word. I may possibly do Aardwolf next time, but the first two sites seem to be about the online game so I may put it off again. Thanks for reading!!

-Kate

P.S I did a spell checker search on my above incorrect spelling of 'anyway' and one of the listed options was 'flywheel'.

Challenge time! For those who are keen enough, I will award the person who pens the best five line limerick featuring the word Dostoevsky.